That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
