Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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