How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
