you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
