What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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