Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
