i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
she told me i tasted like america
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
