YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
