how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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