Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
