see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
