No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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