i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
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