When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
