You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
