I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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