I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
