I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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