no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Randomize