So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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