NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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