i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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