She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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