I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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