Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
