You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize