My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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