I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Randomize
