dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
