This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize