I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
