Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
i think im in europe. pls send help
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