i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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