we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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