are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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