he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
