My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I deserve this hangover.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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