Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Everyone says I win the strip club
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
