I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
