idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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