remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
