holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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