i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
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