and you said cock pushups were impossible
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Just invented taco cereal.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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