weddingsv make me drug and hornr
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
