I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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