Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
