Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize