Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
