I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
that may or may not have been my penis.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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