Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
