if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I could fuck to npr.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
