You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
