Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
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