i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
