She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
